HSAP Editor's test

Editor's challenge -- 42 mistakes in total

 I remember everything up to that moment clearly. My older sister, Solra fumiko, stood above me from the rooftop of our burning family residence. She held not a hint of fear in her eyes as ash flew at her from the fire surrounding us. Everything was chaos. Not only was it chaos but it was difficult to piece together. then again, the obvious answer was right in front of me.  It was than I realized the massacre of our family was her doing. Although, it would be quite wrong of me to blame it all on her, as it was also the work of Others.

  She ran away five years ago when I was 12, and I would constantly wonder where she had gone. I wondered if I would ever see her again. Now I didnt care, I just wanted her gone again. She had a taunting smirk on her face, and malicious hate in her eyes. I felt like the minutes we spent staring each other down turned to hours, as every second held a Million and three thoughts. I stared into her eyes, her purple irises glowing from the flame. Time seemed to stop, feeling the mood. I couldn’t stand this much longer. I was worn down and just wanted answers. Our little family reunion however, would not stay silent.

  “Yuna, I suggest you take this moment to run”, She smirked at me, with her right hand reaching back into her belt: she pulled out a rusted steel revolver. This was a weapon passed down through the generations of our family, engraved with the symbol of an hourglass, the revolver once used to protect the Fumiko name would now be used to destroy it. A wave of anger had washed over me, but from my position I could not have reached her. So I stayed still and stared into hateful eyes which I once felt loved dearly by. Was this the end of me. Sadly it was not, as I cannot cut myself out of the situation just yet.

“What the hell are you doing!?” I heard a familiar voice screech, its owner just out of my peripheral vision. This was quite a distraction, and I forgot the situation at hand. I turned and was envloped by a warm embrace. Then, the trigger was pulled.

Chapter 1

  I awoke to a consistent beeping noise, like you would hear in a hospital room. When I opened my eyes, the room was not florescent white. It was alike to a dream where you are floating in darkness. Then again I wasn’t floating: I was lying down on a hard mattress, wrapped in an itchy wool blanket. The poorly put together fabric scratched at my skin. I tried to lift my arms to relieve the itch and I realized I could not.

  This dream like experience quickly transformed itself into a nightmare as I came to my sences. I felt cold metal against my skin. My shoulder blades sent shock waves of pain through my body. As my now marrow vision adjusted to the darkness around me I realized I did not have the range of sight I used to. I could not see on my right side. Soon enough the pungent cent of multiple disinfectants invaded my senses. It was the overwhelming smell of a hospital. My mind must have been playing tricks on me. My nose told me i was in a hospital. My sight told me I was not. The tight leather against my wrists told me I was in the hell hole of a psychos jail cell.

  I turned my head, seeing a dull light emitting through cracks in the doorway. I was scared, yet all I could do now was try and attract attention. I had lost myself in my thoughts for hours and I decided it was probably best to meet my fate now, before I got too nauseous.

 “Hello?” I asked the darkness. Of course it was not the darkness that responded.
 “So you are awake,” A deep yet feminine voice stated more then asked. I saw the door creek open with painfully slow movement. I knew the voice, but it was distant in my memory. I felt like I was remembering someone from my childhood. It was like regconizing a person’s appearance yet not their name.

  “Who are you?” I questioned the silhouette’d figure, my voice cracking as I tried to restrain the on coming panic. I was like a caged animal, help less and scared.
 To my surprise the woman chuckled, “Do you not recognize me, Yuna?”
 “Who are you?” I repeated in a darker tone, anger mixing in with my other emotions. As the figured moved closer and became more recognizable I realized she was glaring. This woman, with whom I felt oddly acquainted, seemed to hold herself with confidence, as if to spell out a demand to be respected.

She swiped her hand through her oddly teal green colored hair, her bangs long at the front and sides of her face, the hairstyle falling shorter in the back. Her eyes were the same color but held much colder intensity. She wore an inquisitive expression.
 “Dedre Keeper. You probably remember my younger brother arashi, as the two of you would play quite frequently when you were younger. Although my Mother did not approve of this, you would come to our residence when she was away on business”

 "You’re mother? It’s been so long since I have heard you speak about her. you know, not mentioning the whole disappearing act you two pulled. So, where am I, And why am I bound to this bed? Also, where is Arashi? And where did you to run off too?" I started on, but stopped talking when I realized that I was probably overwhelming Dedre with so many questions.

 "Hey now, slow down. We have lots of time to discuss the past. Also, we had to keep you still. You we’re having quite violent fits in your sleep and we thought it best you did not wake up feeling like you just got in a fistfight with a Comparitus muscle man." A Comparitus, if you were wondering, is a genetically engineered experiment. At least half the population of earth now is Comparitus. There are different races of Comparitus, with gentics of different species, and different abilities. These abilities can also change during the course of a Comparitus' life. Human’s quite often use racist terms against us, such as calling us Mutants or Monsters. I try not to mind it.

 "Well, Thank you for that, but could you debind me?" I asked and received a nod in response. She went under the table and loosened the straps. I sat up, stretching her arms. With a glance at the floor I got up to my feet and almost fell back down. It took a few moments to gain my balance, so I used the bed to support me. I felt as if I was carrying a slab of concrete on my back. I looked over at Dedre, as she dusted herself off.

 "You seem to be under a lot of stress after what happened, so I suggest that you go and get some rest. I will lead you to a more welcoming room." She started, turning out the door and walking into another, well light room. I followed. As we walked I noticed that the architecture was quite a bit different from what I was used to. The building appeared to be rounded, as every new room we walked into had a domed, high ceiling. I could hear the humming of heaters, placed strategically around each room to keep the temperature moderated. The builder’s really stressed each detail. The almost reflective white ceiling, which met at a high center point at least 75 feet above us, was held up by tall marble pillars. At a certain point in the curve of the wall they’re was a strip of hyroglyphic like designs, which stretched across the whole room. The room itself, judging by the furniture, seemed to be some sort of dining and lounge area. Despite working for the goverment, my family never had much money. We would have to carry buckets of water from a nearby lake to have a bath. Yet walking through here made me feel rich.